Fears and Perfection
by NiennaAngel
Summary: SpencerxBryan Bryan confronts his fears while Spencer admires perfection


I decided that the SpencerxBryan I wrote for my "Kisses" drabbles needed to be a oneshot so I wrote it. It's not long, just over 1200 words, but it's better than just a 400-some word drabble. Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

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Spencer walked across the grounds of the abbey he had escaped years earlier. He didn't want to be here, but he was looking for someone that needed him. It wasn't that Bryan was going to ever actually admit to needing his presence, but the oldest of the Russian bladers knew his younger friend better than that. Bryan did his best to cover up all his emotions despite the six years that were between their days at the abbey and the present. Spencer walked across the snow covered ground and found the falcon staring at the spot on the ground that led to a trap door and the dungeons. He wrapped his arms around Bryan's shoulders and pulled him back against his chest. "It's over Bryan. It's been over for years."

"Is it? I still dream about it. I still think about it." Spencer sighed and pressed a gentle kiss to Bryan's temple. Spencer kissed the top of Bryan's head gently. "I was better for awhile, but it's worse now. I don't even know why."

"It _is_ over. I know you dream about it still. You wake me up when you have nightmares." Bryan turned around quickly to stare at him.

"You're always asleep when I wake up" Bryan protested quickly. He stared in disbelief at the older blader standing in front of him.

"You honestly thought I didn't know? Bryan, you toss and turn constantly. It's impossible to sleep when you have nightmares. I pretend to be asleep until you fall back asleep so that you don't feel self-conscious about it." Bryan looked down at his feet as Spencer pulled him close. "Don't feel bad about it. I'm worried, not annoyed. You should be getting over everything that happened." Bryan rested his head on Spencer's shoulder as the older Russian started placing kisses on the side of his neck.

"I know I should be getting over it, but I can't let it go. Boris is still out there. They still haven't caught him. They let him escape for crying out loud." Spencer sighed as he tightened his hold on the falcon and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his face.

"I'm here for you Bryan."

"I can handle it myself." Spencer didn't say anything as he continued to hold the falcon for a few minutes.

"Still, I'm here for you if you ever decide you need me." Bryan nodded as he let his arms slip up his hands slip up Spencer's back slowly before fisting in the whale's thick jacket. "Let's go home falcon. We don't need to be here" he whispered softly. Bryan nodded slowly as he pulled away from Spencer's embrace completely. He started to walk away and Spencer simply let him go for a few steps. It hurt that Bryan kept him at such a distance, but he knew that he couldn't push the falcon too much. Sighing he walked quickly to catch up to the younger Russian and fell into step with him. Bryan didn't even seem to register that Spencer was with him, but the blond knew better than that.

Spencer woke to Bryan's tossing and turning that night and let out a small sigh. He shifted so that he was facing his boyfriend watching him dream. He would have woken the twenty one-year-old up, but their time in the abbey had taught all of the Blitzkrieg Boys not to disturb the dreaming falcon or risk getting a black eye. Instead Spencer simply watched and waited for Bryan to wake. When he did he sat up straight in bed and almost immediately started to climb out, but the whale stopped him. His arms circled the falcon's waist and pulled him back into his chest. Bryan turned to face him with wide eyes filled with fear. Spencer immediately wrapped him up in the tightest hug he could as he placed light kisses along his bare shoulders and neck. The slight shaking to Bryan's frame slowly stopped shaking and his hands moved to Spencer's chest to push him away. "I'm okay."

"Bryan," Spencer started. Bryan shook his head as he slipped out of bed. "Don't walk away from me Bryan. Talk to me!"

"There's nothing to talk about Spencer! I had a bad dream! I have them all the time! I just need to be alone!" Bryan was practically shouting at the whale. The others would wake up soon if Spencer didn't find a way to shut him up quickly.

"Bryan, stop it. You're going to wake up Tala and Ian." Spencer climbed out of bed and grabbed Bryan's arms. "Just come back to bed." Bryan tried to pull away, but Spencer was stronger and held him close.

"If I stay still I'll just see it over and over again. I need to move." Spencer shifted his grip on Bryan and lifted him off the ground before carrying him over to the bed. He knew that words wouldn't work so he hoped that kissing him would. Their lips moved against one another as Bryan started to give up his fight. Spencer pulled back slowly and gently pressed a kiss to Bryan's forehead. "Spencer?"

"Shh. It's alright Bryan. Just try to relax a little bit." Bryan nodded and draped his arms around Spencer's neck. "You need to let me help you."

"I don't know what to do anymore Spencer. I thought I was over it. I thought I'd dealt with everything, but then the nightmares came back and I just can't handle it anymore." Spencer ran his fingers through Bryan's hair gently.

"Try not to worry Bryan. I'm not surprised the nightmares came back after all the attention the press has given Boris's escape from prison. You went through a worse hell than anyone else in the abbey. It's only natural to be afraid of what will happen if he comes back." Spencer pressed their lips together in another sweet kiss.

"Thank you" Bryan whispered softly. "Thank you." Spencer silenced him with a deep kiss that left Bryan breathless. The falcon stared up at his whale with confused eyes. "Do you love me?"

Spencer blinked and chuckled. "Did you just figure that out? I didn't think you were that slow."

Bryan glared, but the effect wasn't as potent as usual due to the bright blush on his cheeks. "Why?"

"You're perfect" Spencer whispered before distracting him with kisses along the falcon's bare chest. Bryan grinned as he tangled his fingers in the whale's blond locks. He pulled Spencer's head back up so that they could continue kissing. Spencer ran his hands down Bryan's body letting them rest on the falcon's hips. They parted for air briefly before returning to their passionate kisses. Bryan pulled back and stared up at him. "Stop questioning it Bry. I love you and that's that." Bryan nodded before leaning up to press a kiss to Spencer's lips.

"You're perfect too" he whispered softly as he fought back a blush. Spencer was the only person on the planet that could elicit this kind of reaction from him. He really didn't understand how a simple kiss or caress could set his entire body fire and at the same time completely calm and relax him. "Spencer, how do you know if you're in love?"

"You'll know falcon. You'll figure it out on your own and I'll wait for you to." Spencer started placing more and more kisses along Bryan's body. The falcon started to say something but found his words dieing in his throat.

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There you go. Please review and let me know if how I did given the fact that I'm about to fall asleep.

Bryan: You made me a sap at the end

you're not a sap, you're being sweet

Bryan: I don't do sweet.

you do if I say you do.


End file.
